Lirieke: The Carrier. One Year Later.

I'm living in this world without you watching my own life pass me by. I'm living in this world without you being a bystander to my own life. I'm on the outside trying to look in. I need to feel connected or else I'm going to lose it. I'm waiting for my destiny to manifest in front of me. The one thing I was sure of, the one thing I knew, the only thing I thought I had fucking blew. I'm showering at two in the morning so no once can seem clean the filth I have come to be. How can I focus on tomorrow when I can live today. I wanted hope, I wanted change. The stars have fallen from the sky. I wanted hope, I wanted change, but now I'm ready to die. You can't kill someone who's already dead. You can't even begin to understand the thoughts in my head. I beat my self over and over again about nothing, just sensing reality is dead. I hate myself more than you ever can. And I'll hate myself until the very end. I lost my heart the day the world went cold. The sun doesn't rise to heat this godforsaken earth. An image of you appeared as I began to cry. An image of you appeared as I slowly died. Cynical of this world, pessimistic on a whole. Cynical of this world, pessimistic on a whole, living in the biggest lie, calling purgatory my only home