Lirieke: Soundtrack Artists. Finale, Act I.

ENTRANCE OF SUPREME COURT JUDGES
And A KISS FOR CINDERELLA
And I WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLOSSOM
And SOME GIRLS CAN BAKE A PIE (REPRISE)
And OF THEE I SING REPRISE)
And ZWEI HERTZEN

ENTRANCE OF SUPREME COURT JUDGES
[TRUMPET CALL. BOYS AND GIRLS IN MILITARY UNIFORMS MARCH ON.
DRILL. ANOTHER FANFARE. JUDGES ENTER]

JUDGES:
We're the one, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine
Supreme Court Judges.
As the super Solomons of this great nation
We will supervise today's inauguration,
And we'll sup'rintend the wedding celebration
In a manner official and judicial.
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine
Supreme Court Judges!
We have powers that are positively regal;
Only we can take a law and make it legal.

ALL:
They're (We're) the A.K.s who give the O.K.s!
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight, nine
Supreme Court Judges!

[ANOTHER FANFARE]

Hail! Hail! The ruler of our gov'ment!
Hail! Hail! The man who taught what love meant!
Clear, clear the way
For his inaugural and wedding day!

Hail! Hail! The mighty ruler of love!
Hail! Hail! The man who made us love love!
Hip! Hip! Hooray!
For his inaugural and wedding day!

[BAND MARCHES ON, FOLLOWED BY WINTERGREEN AND COMMITTEE MEMBERS]

CHIEF JUSTICE:
[SPOKEN]
And, now, Mr. President, is you don't mind we'd like your inaugural address.

WINTERGREEN:
[SINGS]
I have definite ideas about Philippines*
And the herring situation up in Bismarck;
I have notions on the salaries of movie queens
And the men who sign their signatures with "this" mark!

[*THIS AND THE NEXT THREE LINES WERE REWRITTEN FOR THE 1952 REVIVAL]

WINTERGREEN:
[SINGS]
I have definite ideas about the deficit;
I have plans about our tonnage on the ocean.
But before I grow statistical, I'll preface it
With a statement growing out of pure emotion.

ENSEMBLE:
He has definite ideas about the deficit;
He has plans about our tonnage on the ocean.
But before he grows statistical, he'll preface it
With a statement growing out of pure emotion.

[MAKES CROSS]
ALL:
He has definite ideas about Philippines*
And the herring situation up in Bismarck;
I have notions on the salaries of movie queens
And the men who sign their signatures with "this" mark!
[MAKES CROSS]

A KISS FOR CINDERELLA

WINTERGREEN:
But on this glorious day I find
I'm sentimentally inclined.
And so-
I sing this to the girls I used to know:

Here's a kiss for Cinderella
And a parting kiss for May;
Toodle-oo, good-bye, this is my wedding day.

Here's a parting smile for Della
And the lady known as Lou;
Toodle-oo, good-bye, with bach'lor days I'm through!

Tho' I really never knew them,
It's a rule I must obey;
So I'm saying good-bye to them
In the customary way.

My regards to Arabella
And to Emmaline and Kay!
Toodle-oo, dear girls, good-bye!
This is my wedding day.

[WINTERGREEN REPEATS FIRST SIX LINES OF ABOVE; ALL OTHERS SING AGAINST THIS:]

ALL OTHERS:
He is toodle-ooing all his lady loves.
All the girls he didn't know so well,
All the innocent and all the shady loves,
Oh, ding-a-dong-a-dell!
Bride and groom, their future should be glorious-
What a happy story they will tell;
Let the welkin now become uproarious,
Oh, ding-a-dong-a-dell!

[ENTER MARY, ESCORTED BY FULTON]
ALL:
Clear the way!
Hail the bride!
Sweet and gay-
Here comes the bride!

MARY:
Is it true or I dreaming?
Do I go to Heav'n to stay?
Never was a girl so happy on her wedding day!

CHIEF JUSTICE:
[SPOKEN]
Do you, John P. Wintergreen, solemnly swear to uphold the
Constitution of the United states of America and to love,
honor, and cherish this woman so long as you two shall live?

WINTERGREEN:
I do.

CHIEF JUSTICE:
Do you, Mary Turner, promise to love, honor, and
cherish this man so long as you two shall live?

MARY:
I do.

CHIEF JUSTICE:
Therefore, by virtue of the power that is vested in me as Chief Justice,
I hereby pronounce you President of the United States, man and wife.

WINTERGREEN:
Mary!

MARY:
John!

[THEY EMBRACE]

BOTH:
[SING]
Is it true or I dreaming?
Have I come to Heav'n to stay?
Never was a girl (man) so happy on her (his) wedding day!

[DISCORD IN ORCHESTRA. DIANA APPEARS]

DIANA:
Stop! Halt! Pause! Wait!

ALL:
Who is this intruder?
There's no one could be ruder!

[TO DIANA]

What's your silly notion
In causing this commotion?

I WAS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BLOSSOM

DIANA:
I was the most beautiful blossom
In all the Southland;
I was sent up North to enter the contest
With the understanding that the winner
Was to be the President's wife.
The Committee examined me.
My lily-white body fascinated them.
I was chosen.
It was the happiest moment of my life.

ENSEMBLE:
Yes, yes, go on!
Yes, yes, go on!

DIANA:
Suddenly the sky fell.
Suddenly, for no reason at all,
No reason at all,
This man rejected me.
All my castles came tumbling down.
And so I am serving him with a summons*
For breach of promise!
[*THIS AND THE NEXT LINE WERE REVISED FOR THE 1952 REVIVAL:
He may be the President - But he'll suffer
For having tricked me.]

ENSEMBLE:
What! What!
The water's getting hot!
She said he made a promise,
A promise he forgot.

DIANA:
It's true! It's true!

JUDGES:
The day he's getting married.
You put him on the spot!
It's dirty work of Russia,*
A communistic plot!

[*1952 VERSION:
She says that only she was
His true forget-me-not!]

WINTERGREEN:
Please understand,
It wasn't that I would jilt or spurn 'er;
It's just that there was someone else.

ENSEMBLE:
Whom?

WINTERGREEN:
"Who!"
Mary Turner!

CHIEF JUSTICE:
We're having fits!

ENSEMBLE:
We're having fits!

CHIEF JUSTICE:

The man admits...

ENSEMBLE:
The man admits...

CHIEF JUSTICE:
This little sinner...

ENSEMBLE:
This little sinner...

CHIEF JUSTICE:
Was really winner!

ENSEMBLE:
Was really winner!

DIANA:
I couldn't see...

ENSEMBLE:
She couldn't see...

DIANA:
His jilting me.

ENSEMBLE:
His jilting she.

DIANA:
And so I'm doing...

ENSEMBLE:
And so I'm doing...

DIANA:
A bit of suing.

ENSEMBLE:
A bit of suing.

MEN:
And if it's true she has a claim,
You should be called a dirty name!

GIRLS:
And if it's true she has a claim,
Then you're a dirty, dirty name!

MARY:
John, no matter what they do to hurt you,
The one you love won't desert you.

DIANA:
I'm a queen who has lost her king!
Why should she wear a wedding ring?

SOME GIRLS CAN BAKE A PIE (REPRISE)

WINTERGREEN:
Some girls can bake a pie
Made up of prunes and quinces;
Some make an oyster fry -
Others are good at blintzes.
Some lovely girls have done
Wonders with turkey stuffin's,
But I have found the one
Who can really make corn muffins!

ENSEMBLE:
Yes, he has found the one
Who can really make corn muffins!

DIANA:
Who cares about corn muffins?
All I demand is justice!

WINTERGREEN:
Which is more important?
Corn muffins or justice?

ENSEMBLE:
Which is more important?
Corn muffins or justice?

JUDGES:
If you will wait a minute,
You'll have our decision.

[JUDGES GO INTO HUDDLE]
The decision of the Supreme Court is-
Corn muffins!

ENSEMBLE:
Great! Great!
It's written on the slate!*
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be his mate!

[*ALTERNATE VERSION:
It really must be fate!]

DIANA:
It's not I, not Mary Turner,
Who should have been his mate.
I'm off to tell my story
In ev'ry single state.

ENSEMBLE:
Be off with you, young woman,
He's married to his mate.
There's none but Mary Turner
Could ever be his mate!

[REPEAT THESE LINES]

DIANA:
[SPOKEN]
See you in court, y'all.

OF THEE I SING (REPRISE)

WINTERGREEN:
Of thee I sing, baby-

ENSEMBLE:
Summer, autumn, winter, spring, baby.
Shining star and inspiration,
Worthy of a mighty nation-
Of thee I sing!

ZWEI HERTZEN
[THIS SECTION COMMENCED TOWARD THE END OF THE "BEAUTIFUL BLOSSOM"
SECTION, AFTER THE LINE "YOU'RE A DIRTY, DIRTY NAME"]

MARY:
John, the names they call you
Mean nothing-
To me, it's love that is "the" thing!

WINTERGREEN:
[TO MELODY OF "SOME GIRLS CAN BAKE A PIE"]
Call me whate'er you will-
Jack only did his duty
When he perceived his Jil1
In this American Beauty.
Call me a gigolo!
Say I disgrace the Union!
But those who love must know-
We're "zwei Hertzen" in communion.

[MARY AND WINTERGREEN REPEAT THIS AS THE CHORUS COUNTERS:]

GIRLS:
And if it's true she has a claim,
You should be called a dirty name!

MEN:
Yes, if it's true she has a claim,
You should be called a dirty name!

MARY:
John, no matter what they do to hurt you,
The one you love won't desert you.

DIANA:
Listen, you, 'tis of thee I sing!
[TO CROWD]

Why should she wear the wedding ring?

[SCENE RESUMES AS ABOVE WITH "SOME GIRLS CAN BAKE..."]

ACT II

HELLO, GOOD MORNING
[SECRETARIES ENTER, WHISTLING]

BOYS:
Hello, good morning!

GIRLS:
Good morning, hello!

BOYS:
How are you this very lovely day?

GIRLS:
I feel very well, sir.

BOYS:
And I'm feeling swell.

BOTH:
It's great to be alive
And work from nine to five.

[ENTER TWO CHIEF SECRETARIES - JENKINS AND MISS BENSON]

JENKINS
AND
BENSON:
Hello, good morning!

GIRLS:
AND
BOYS:
Good morning, hello!
Isn't this a moment that's divine?

JENKINS
AND
BENSON:
I see it's almost nine.

ALL:
And we only have one minute more to say:
Hello, good morning!
Isn't this a lovely day?
Isn't this a lovely day?

Oh, it's great to be a secret'ry
In the White House, D.C.
You get inside information on Algeria;
You know ev'ry move they're making in Liberia.

You learn what's what and what is not
In the Land of the Free.
Ev'ry corner that you turn you meet a notable
With a statement that is eminently quotable.

Oh, it's great to be a secret'ry
In the White House, D.C.

[JENKINS AND BENSON DANCE. AT CONCLUSION, ALL EXIT, ARM IN ARM, SINGING:]

So long, good morning!
Wasn't this a lovely day?
Wasn't this a lovely day?