Lirieke: Behind Enemy Lines. Why Does She Stay?.

She's a domestic violence survivor a regular hospital patient
He swears that it was an accident, she claims it was blatant
Those who think that they know him will of course have their doubts
And the ones who believe her will quickly point out
That it's happened so many times and he hasn't changed yet
If she doesn't just leave him she deserves what she gets
She'll get no support from those who don't understand
Why she would stay with such an abusive man
Why doesn't she leave?
Why does she stay in an abusive situation, where he's made her his prisoner
And the acts of violence get worse every day?
Many women lose their support systems
Once the batterer has isolated her and no one will listen
To her plea for help, her cries of despair
And when the incident is over he always swears
That he knows there's a problem and he's going to get help
Not for her but for himself
Shifting the focus to his pain and away from hers
Convincing her that it's not just his problem but both of theirs
So he needs her support and for her to remain
Because he really is trying and he's going to change
So she remains in an abusive situation
And lives with fear and intimidation
And the familiar words of regret and repeated apologies
The psychological battering and sexual abuse
And the promise of reprisal if she ever leaves
Each day there's a new bruise that she manages to hide
Sometimes it's denial and sometimes it's pride

She really doesn't want to live life this way
But there are countless reasons why she might stay
Maybe it's low self-esteem
No self-respect
Maybe it's her children that she's trying to protect
Maybe it's financial security, having a home
Having to make it out on her own
Maybe she sees it as normal from her childhood abuse
Maybe she's tired of fighting so what's the use
Maybe the police who were called doubted her statement
Or maybe she loves him and is trying to be patient
He'll never run out of excuses for his continued assault
He'll rationalize his abuse and how it's really her fault
If she'd only obey him and be a better wife
If he didn't have all of these pressures in his job or his life
It's not because stress has taken its toll
But because he's seeking obedience, dominance and power
And he knows that his abuse gets him control
And if it gets him what he wants then he'll do it again
The single greatest cause of injury to women is by abusive men
Thousands of women are murdered by their partners every year
Is it so hard to understand why she stays and lives in fear?